My Heart Will Go On...
by Leia Avenrose
Summary: *Chp 1*// Garnet closed her eyes and waited for whatever he had planned to come. Zidane brought his arm back, balled his hand into a tight fist, so tight that his fingernails dug into the flesh on his palm, and let it fly straight at Garnet's beautiful, s
1. **Prologue**I-I can't run from you if I....

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own _Final Fantasy IX_... SqaureSoft® owns it all... unfortunately...

_Dedication:_ To my friends who I cherish dearly to my heart as each day passes by.... _Siena_, _Zidane's Dagger_, _Taemyr_, and last but not least, _Alria_....  My Heart Will Go On...

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

_My Heart Will Go On..._

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

_~Prologue~_

_I-I can't run from you if I... I love you..._

" We can't go on like this... can we? ", a young woman the age of seventeen asked as she pushed her hands out at her sides, pushing through the air.

The man standing in front of her with his back towards her, turned and looked at her, noticing the crystal droplets that threatened to fall, noticing the look of worry and great sadness that caused the once soft chocolate to die down to a melted, gooey kind.

" I'm sorry... there's nothing I nor anyone else can do about this. It's the way that this has to go. I'm sorry.... ", he apologized again as he turned his back to her, leaning over the railing so he could watch the newly re-built town of Alexandria bustle with life

"I'm sorry too... ", she whispered as she closed her eyes against the tears and walked up behind him to wrap her bare arms around his waist from behind.

Zidane Tribal closed his eyes and tensed as he felt her arms go around his waist. The song kept playing over and over in his mind, causing him to cringe at the sick sweet tone of the voice.

_The dark night sky above,_

exsists to expose out hearts,

as they call out to each other,

when the two of us are apart.

Everytime he was around her, he'd always hear a soft, gentle voice in his head, whispering, singing to him that song.

" You have _no_ need to apologize, Dagger... ", Zidane murmured softly as he covered her arms with his own arms, giving her smooth elbows a gentl squeeze.

Garnet Til Alexandros the 17th sighed lightly as she rested her head against his back, " I have almost every right to be sorry... ", she replied softly as she sniffled slowly.

Zidane slowly turned around in her arms and then wraped his arms around her, pulling her close and holding onto her like it was going to be the last time he ever got to touch her, kiss her, hold her, tell her that he... loved her.

Yes. It was true. He loved her. Loved her more then life itself, more then the air he breathed everyday of his life, loved her enough to ask for her hand in marriage, but... he couldn't do that.

Not now...

Not here...

Not _this_ night...

The spirit of rage, hate, fear was growing stronger inside of him and one thing he didn't know what to do was to break away from it, break away from the evil spell, the evil curse that had been sat upon him when his sister had been killed in coldblood and molestation back on Terra by those Berserker orges.

Garnet trembled in his arms and then uttered a cry of surprise as she felt his arms tighten their grip around her frail body into a deathgrip, sucking the very breath from her lungs.

" Z-zidane... you're h-hurting me... ", she groaned into his chest, inhaling the sweet musky scent that he and his body naturally carried.

Zidane's arms suddenly left her waist as he took a step back from her, his hands now clutching his head tightly, his long fingers tangling themselves in his shaggy mane of dark honey, digging into his scalp as he tried to fight it, tried to fight the spirit of rage.

" D-dagger... go... ", he groaned as his eyes snapped open, the dark, mysterious deep forest green now completely goen, only to be replaced by complete white, nothing more, nothing less.

Garnet brought a hand to her mouth as she tried to stiffle a loud gasp of surprise. Her eyes searched Zidane's once soft, kind, open face, finding nothing but hate, rage and fear. Small veins popped out of his head, his neck, decorated his forearms, his shoulder as Zidane doubled over, groaned and moaning loudly in pain as a loud sickening tear of muscles was heard.

The muscles in Zidane's arms bulged to life, grew to become large, twice their regular size [Think of a Super Saiyan at level 3 from DBZ/GT]. He groaned again and looked up at Garnet, anger and hate flraing more to life as his eyes found hers.

There was a loud scream of agony that tore from his throat, ripping his vocal cords greatly as he stood up, throwing his head back, his hands clutching his head again, causing Garnet to drop to one knee on the ground, her hands over her ears, tears streaming down her cheeks.

_' Zidane.. what's wrong with you? '_, Garnet thought in horror as she lifted her head to look at him looking at her.

Zidane opened his mouth and then made a sick choking, gurgling sound that made Garnet voice her thoughts.

" Z-zidane... what's wrong? Why are you like this?! ", she asked as she stood up and took a step back and watched as Zidane clutched his chest this time, outstretching a hand to her.

Zidane swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat, _' I can't let anything happen.. not to my Dagger... anyone **but** her! "_

" D-dagger! _Go_... run a-away! Leave me... ", Zidane shouted ro her, his voice growing deeper and more deformed with each passing second.

Garnet shook her head, " I'm not leaving you, Zidane. We always said that we'd stick together and not run anymore. Well... I-I'm _not_ running! I-I can't run.. not from you... not when I... I love you, Zidane. I'm not going to run from you if I _love_ you... ", she replied, unable to control the tremor in her voice as she crossed her arms over her chest; her long white gown billowing out behind her as the breeze captured it and attempted to take it away.

_' She loves me!? But how can she love... love a monster? A monster who means to kill her... '_, Zidane thought to himself as he felt something inside of him click and newfound rage soared to life through his veins, setting his blood on fire.

Garnet swallowed thickly and shook her head, _' I'm not going to leave him... I **can't** leave him. I'll forgive him if he strikes out at me.. I'll forgive him... '_

_' But what will you do if he ends up killing you?_

Zidane felt himself finally lose control. He screamed out in his mind to stop, to just leave her alone and find someone else, but he couldn't.. his body wouldn't listen to him, the spirit of rage and hate had won over him once again.

His body and his mind wouldn't listen to him, he was completely helpless, he was going to kill his Dagger, Zidane knew for a fact as he charged at full speed to Garnet's trembling form.

Garnet closed her eyes and waited for whatever he had planned to come. Zidane brought his arm back, balled his hand into a tight fist, so tight that his fingernails dug into the flesh on his palm, and let it fly straight at Garnet's beautiful, small heart-shaped face...

{_Author's Note:_ Well? Whatcha think so far? Have I got all you peeps on the edge of your seat yet, wondering if Zidane _actually_ does hit his Dagger? *giggles evily* I thought so... hee hee! If you don't review, I'm not going to continue with this... and from what I've read so far... this is pretty interesting and it's going to eventually make you want to read more.... *waves* well... off to write _chapter 1_. BYEBYE!! Remember... _read **and** review!!!_}


	2. **Chapter 1** You forgive me then?

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own _Final Fantasy IX®_... SquareSoft owns it all... *sobs*

_Dedication:_ To _Siena_, _Zidane's Dagger_, _Taemyr_, _SolidSnake_, and _Alria_.... PSST!! Thanks for the 100th review, Alria!!!

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My Heart Will Go On

_~My Heart Will Go On~_

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

_~Chapter 1~_

_~You forgive me then?~_

_//Two years later...\\_

" Married? To _whom?!_ When?! ", ninteen year old Zidane Tribal cried out as he jumped up from his chair and slammed his fists down onto the tabletop of the one too many tables that sat on the Prima Vista's large kitchen.

Blank and Cinna shot each other glances and then lookd back at Zidane's anger flushed face. Blank licked his lips and cleared his throat, " For... about a few months now. Her Majesty is living it happy.... "

Zidane sighed heavily as he plopped back down into the chair he jumped up from, " Why wasn't I informed of this, you guys? ", he asked as he ran a hand through his shaggy mane of dark honey tresses.

Cinna lifted his sledgehammer and inspected the top of it, " Well.. we know what had happened before and we knew that you're still peeved over it, not forgiving yourself and all, so... we decided to keep it underwraps.... "

Zidane frowned, " I still am _not_ forgiving myself... not until she forgives me... not until I hear her say it herself. For what I did? I don't deserve to be living... I don't deserve to be here... "

" Zidane? How about you go see her yourself? Maybe she'll forgive you if you just go see her... ", Marcus suggested as he strolled into the room, a small dark maroon book tucked under one arm and a mug of ale in hand.

Zidane's head shot up, " I _can't_ do that! She'd never want to see me, not after what happened. In her eyes.... I'm a... _monster!_ ", he spat.

" You're _not_ a monster, Zidane. Anyone can see that... you're just... unique, different in your own way... ", Marcus replied calmly, taking a slow, long sip of his drink.

Zidane shook his head, " I'm still a monster.... ", he muttered stubbornly, leaning over on the table and resting his forehead on his arms.

Blank sighed heavily and then walked over to the table, grabbed a chair a chair and then straddled it, watching Zidane.

" You don't have to worry about it, bro. Think of the one good thing about all this... she's _still_ alive! She's alive... living, breathing. You didn't kill her... "

Marcus and Cinna nodded, " Yeah! At least she's alive to live a good life now... ", Marcus reminded him.

_' A life with some other guy... some other man that isn't... me... '_, Zidane thought as he lifted his head to glance as each honest face of his Tantalus brothers.

" Perhaps you're right... ", he replied softly.

" Hurry it up, boys! We're leaving in the next five minutes. Alexandria's calling for a play... and we're going to give it to them... ", Baku's deep, humorous voice shouted down the winding staircase, floating into the kitchen... 

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

" Darling? Do you honestly think this is a good idea? ", Thomas de Trene asked his wife as he turned from the open window to glance at his wife's small heart-shaped face that screwed up in deep frown.

_' This is so wrong! I shouldn't be here... not with him. This... is all wrong... '_, Garnet Til Alexandros the 17th ~ or in a simpler form, Garnet de trene ~ thought as she wrapped a dark green ribbon hanging from her white gown around her finger.

Thomas frowned and walked up to her, " Garnet? Are you... alright? ", he asked as he knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his, the ribbon falling to rest against her gown.

" Huh? ", Garnet murmured, snapping out of her thoughts.

" Are you alright? ", Thomas repeated.

Garnet nodded, " Oh! Yes... yes. I'm fine... just tired... "

Thomas quirked a light brow and scratched his head, " Did you want me to call off the play? "

Garnet blinked and then shook her head hard as she jumped up from her chair, wrentching her hands from his to plant them on her hips, " No! Heaven's _no_, Thomas. ", she cried in disbelief.

Thomas stood up slowly and placed his hands on her arms, above the elbows. He searched her flushed face with light blue eyes.

" Whoa! Calm down... I was just suggesting it. No need to get all upset about it, Garnet... ", he soothed as he drew her into his arms, holding her close.

Garnet sighed heavily and rested her head against his chest as his arms went around her small waist, " I'm sorry. So sorry... but, you know _how_ much this play means to me... "

Thomas nodded and kissed the top of her head as he rubbd her bare back, " I know, Garnet... I'm sorry... "

Garnet cringed as she felt his lips on her hair, " It's alright... "

Thomas shuckled low in his throat, sounding nothing at all like Zidane, " It's almost as if you're expecting someone to be there... at the play.... "

Garnet's lips spread slightly, " No on I know is going to be there, Thomas. Only my old friends are going to be there that I met two years ago... "

" Oh?

Garnet nodded, " Yes.. little Eiko, Freya, Vivi, Quina... many others too... ", she murmured as she began to think of all the good times they all use to share.

Thomas was silent for a while, pondering to himself. Garnet suddenly pulled away from him and crossed the large, spacious room to stanbd in front of the window, watching as a large ship slowly approached. A low foghorn honked in the distance and Garnet reached down into the pocket on her gown to pull out a small locket that read _' Dagger... '_, on one side and _' Zidane... '_, on the other.

She opened it up and glanced down at the small coloured sketch of a handsome man with eyes a deep forest green, lips spread in a usual meek, impish grin and hair so blonde it caught the rays of the sun and created a halo overtop, almost making him look like an angel... angel of death...

Garnet's chin trembled slightly and she bit her lower lip to try and stop it.

_' Zidane.... '_

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

" Must we do this? Must we _have_ to put this play on? ", Zidane complained as they docked the Prima Vista.

Marcus and Cinna sighed heavily as Blank walked up to Zidane and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, " Bro, don't worry about it. I don't think she's going to recognize you. You've changed... your hair if longer, your eyes are a deeper, more darker shade of green... you're tanned nicely... I don't think she'll recognize you... "

Zidane frowned and then ran a hand through his hair, sending the thick strands of dark honey back, " Do yuo guys really think so? I don't believe you.. she'll end up saying something... "

Baku strode into the room, dressed up as the King, " Zidane, my boy... you don't have to worry. She's not going to recognize you. Trust me... we'll place you in a robe or something if we have to... "

Zidane shrugged, " If you really think that'll work... why not? "

Blank and Marcus grinned while Cinna examined the top of his sledgehammer again...

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

Garnet, Thomas, Eiko, Regent Cid of Lindblum, his wife; Hilda, Freya, Sir Fratley, Quina, Vivi and Amarant were all seated on the Royal Balcony, awaiting for the play to begin.

Garnet scanned the crowds and then glanced at the stage, hoping for something or someone to pop out and surprise her.

No one came...

She sighed heavily and then stood up from her throan, Thomas watching her.

" Is soemthing the matter, dear? ", his voice full of concern.

Garnet glanced at him and shook her head, " Will you all excuse me? I must make a short, quick trip to the ladies room... ", she replied as she curtsied and quickly left the balcony, leaving Thomas, Eiko and Vivi to stare after her.

_' I have to hurry.... '_, Garnet thought as she gathered her skirts and began to run down the hall, down the flight of stairs to rush into her room, locking the door behind her.

Once inside, she quickly stripped the gown off her body, leaving herself half nude in only a pair of white lace panties and a pair of crystal heels as she rushed over to her closet, kicking off the heels and reached inside to pull out the white low-cut blouse and orange overalls with the lace-up front.

The Falcon Claw slipped from her neck as the clasp undid itself and landed on the ground. Once dressed in the overalls and blouse, Garnet reached into the closet and pulled out the red boots that she immediately slipped her feet into.

Garnet then grabbed a dark robe and slipped it over her clothes, making sure the hood was up and draped over her head. Once she was done that, she slipped from the room and made her way down to the large airship that had just docked....

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

Zidane looked at his reflection in the mirror, eyeing the large, loose robe that was covering his body from view.

_' Why do I feel as if I'm a large potatoe just having been shoved into a potatoe sack? '_, he wondered, reaching down to finger the soft fabric.

Blank strode into the room, his light clear blue eyes soft and warm, " Come on, Zidane! We're up... in the next few minutes... ", he added.

Zidane nodded absentmindedly and stole one last glance at himself before following Blank from the dressing room, but he stopped dead in his tracks as he heard something shatter to the ground.

" Hey! Blank, bro... go on without me... ", Zidane suddenly whispered.

" What?! ", Blank cried in disbelief. " You're up. You're playing your part now... "

Zidane shook his head, " No. I heard a noise and I'm going to investigate... Baku'll understand... "

" What are we suppose to do now? "

" Improvise! ", Zidnae shouted over his shoulder as he turned and left Blank there to stand and stare after him...

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

Garnet cringed as soon as the large vase came down onto her and missed her head by an inch, shattering to the ground instead of on her head.

She let out a breath of relief as she stepped over the broken glass decorating the hardwood floor, her boots crunching it as she accidentally stepped on some pieces.

" Why does it have to be _so_ dark? ", Garnet muttered as she brushed some hair from her eyes, thinking it would do any good.

There was a soft click behind her and she whirled around to face whoever was there.

No one was there... Only darkness and more darkness.

Garnet swallowed her heart that had climbed it's way up into her throat.

_' I'm so paranoid that someone's going to catch me... '_, she thought to herself.

It was all quiet until some of the broken glass on the ground crunched under someone's foot as they slowly advanced towards her.

Garnet took a step back and cursed outloud as she turned and began to run blindly through the darkness... 

_~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~_

_' I'm not alone... '_, Zidane thought as he stepped into the pitch black storage room.

He clsoed the door behind him and then heard glass crunch againt the floor as someone other then him stepped on it. Zidane could hear rapid breathing that was low and uneven, almost as if someone were suddenly frightened.

He took a step forward and the glass crunched beneath his feet, " Dammnit! ", he cursed as he heard someone gasp and then begin to run.

" You're _not_ going to get away, thief! ", Zidane muttered low under his breath as he took after the figure who ran blindly.

Unlike the figure, Zidnae knew this storage room like the back of his hand. He grunted loudly as he pushed off the ground and tackled the person to the ground.

There was a soft cry of surprise that left Garnet's lips as she felt strong arms grip her waist, the air rushing past her face and then a hard, lean, very muscular body pressed on top of hers as she hit the ground hard.

Zidane quickly flipped Garnet onto her back, straddled her and pinned her arms out at her sides.

" What do you think you're doing, thief? ", he spat as he bent down, placing his face only centimeters away from hers.

Garnet tried to calm her racing heart, her throbbing, erratic pulse as she felt the strong, sure, steady grip of large, yet soft hands on her elbows. Warm breath that smelt sweet caressed her mouth and fanned out over her cheeks.

" Get off! ", she whispered, bucking her hips against his, struggling against his hands, squirming beneath him.

Zidane snorted, " And if I don't? "

" I'll have you _beheaded_, peasent! ", Garnet retorted, her voice suddenly harsh, as she bucked her hips hard this time, causing Zidane's lips to fall onto hers as he was caught off by surprise.

Garnet sucked in a sharp breath against his lips and quickly turned her head to the side, but, Zidane's lips were firmly locked onto hers, his right hand slipping from her elbow to grasp her chin and hold her head still.

Garnet felt herself returning the kiss and suddenly tears brimmed her eyes as she shook her head.

" N-no... Zidane... ", she whispered against his mouth as she felt his warm, moist tongue caress her lower lip, but then pulled back as soon as she uttered the name.

Zidane ran his tongue over his lips and then brought a hand up to touch them. They still tingled. But why?

He looked down at Garnet and squinted his eyes as he tried to see her better, " Who are you? How do you know me? "

Garnet tried to swallow her tears as she lifted her free hand and pressed the palm flat against his chest, slowly making it's way to his cheek to cup it, her thumb caressing his full lower lip.

" Z-zidane? Is that... you? ", she whispered as she trembled beneath him, running her fingers through his thick hair now.

Zidane knitted his brows together and reached up slowly to cover her hand with his trembling one.

" D-dagger? But... how? ", he asked as he felt her entwin her fingers with his.

" Where have y-you been all my life? ", Garnet asked as she brought his hand down to her chest and pressed it over her heart.

" I've been... running. What's wrong? "

Garnet began to sob now, " C-can't you feel it, Zidane? Can't you feel the... the pain, the _hurt?_ "

Zidane swallowed thickly and slowly got off her to sit her up on the ground in front of him, " I-I'm sorry, Dagger... ", Zidane whispered as he closed his eyes against the tears that began to build up.

" Why did you do it, Zidane? " 

Zidane shook his head and looked down at the ground, " It wasn't... me. It was something else... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to b-beat you, Dagger.... ", he whispered, his voice breaking as the memory of her laying on the ground beaten to a bloody pulp playing over in his mind.

Garnet wiped her tears as she dropped Zidane's hand from her chest, " I understand. ", she replied.

Zidane tried to catch her expression in the darkness, but he came to no avail. He sighed heavily and then ran a hand through his hair.

" Look... what are you doing here, Dagger? ", he asked as he stood up.

Garnet looked up at him and then stood up as well, brushing away the broken pieces of glass from her robe, " I came looking for you... I _had_ to see you... "

" But _why?_ ", his tone pleading.

" Because.. I can't live without you, Zidane. ", Garnet replied, looking at the ground, her cheeks slightly red from embarassment.

" I can't live without you as well, Dagger. But... you know what I am. You've seen what I can do... I'm a _monster!_ Monsters aren't meant to be with anyone... I don't want to hurt you again, Dagger. ", Zidane whispered as he reached out to caress her cheek.

Garnet brought his hand to her mouth and she held it there as she spoke, " Zidane... I told you before that I'm not running. Well... I'm _not_ going to run, Zidane. I said it before and I'm going to say it again... I love you, Zidane. I'm not going to run from... love, my love. I don't care if you're a monster or even an ant! I'm _still_ going to love you... and besides, you're not a monster, Zidane... "

Zidane stared at her and then felt his heart ache with need, longing. He suddenly reached out, wrapped an around her small waist and pulled her close, pressing her body to his hard. Zidane reached down, placed two fingers under her chin and tilted it up.

Zidane stared deeo into her eyes and a impish smile spread his beautiful lips, " You forgive me then? ", he whispered.

Garnet smiled lightly and nodded as tears brimmed her eyes, " Yes... yes! ", she whispered back before she felt Zidane's soft, demanding lips seize her with desperate need and deep passion, sweeping her off her feet...

{_Author's Note:_ Well... what do you think so far? Is this one fic good or not? Some of you are probably frowning and going, " She's rushing them... they shouldn't be back together in the first chapter!! " Well... *snickers evilly* I have other plans for our heros... MWUAHAHAHAHA!! I'm going to leave you hanging for awhile with wonder about what's going to happen to them.. hee hee!! _read **and** review!!!_}


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